empty PROMISES

Empty PROMISES..
What does it mean to you?
For me, it is a promise that have been comes out from your own mouth but never fulfill it at all. What a promise never a promise to you..
How do you feel if you received this kind of promises?
Sad, disappointed, angry, frustrated or you might be happy of it??
Sometimes, people tend to make a lots of promises easily in everything.
Love, friendship, their life, and so on...
But, have you ever think of the person who heard your promises and stick it into their heart? How do they feel?
It's hurt a lot..damn A LOT!!! Even though the person tend to accept it and telling you "that's alright!", "Nevermind!" or "Just go on with it!", but deep inside their heart, it full of pains and disappointments.

When you accept ONE PROMISE at least, you will automatically plan something on your head, isn't it? When you almost implement your so-called "PLAN", all of a sudden, you found out that the promise is empty all the time. The plan turned out to be SO MEANINGLESS and you will be speechless about it. People hates this a lots includes me...

Yup, I listen and accept a whole lots of promises but most of them are turned out to be emptied. So, most of the time, it frustrates me deeply.
I know, if you make a lots of empty promises, people will not fully trust by your words anymore. They just took your words for GRANTED..Do you want that to be happens on you? The answer would be NO, right?

Well, of course, I do makes empty promises too..Those who listen to my empty promises would feel the same as I do as if there is someone who make one to me as well.
I'm telling myself not to always make promises that I can't even fulfill. But sometimes, I just tend to do it.
So I tells myself "IF YOU WANT TO MAKE PROMISES, PLEASE MAKE IT DEEP INSIDE YOUR HEART FIRST UNTIL YOU HAVE FULFILL IT, THEN JUST TELL IT OUT TO EVERYONE." Therefore, people will never know what's ur promises are OR they don't even know whether you did make promises or not..

That's all!!!
*END*

Life!!!! What is it all about? hmm..

This morning, korean lecturer has shared his thoughts again about life. His question was "Why do you live your life for? What is the reason you fight for it?" His one question really gave me alot of thinking process. After class, I has the urge to sms dad and ask him.

His reply was "Tough ones. No one has ever ask me this until now. Will let you know when pa finds the answer to your question." I think Dad is squeezing his brain to think the most suitable answer to satisfy my question.

I don't really understand or can say that I can't even understand it. I couldn't answer this question. My mind is totally blank for this. Since I was a teenage, I thought life is just a simplest thing to understand. I really thought life is just about become a student, a wife, a mom, a grandma and lastly, leaving this world. That's it. BUT IT TOTALLY NOT THE ONE I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THESE WHILE. This kind of question is just too deep to be understand not until u have reach that stage, you couldn't understand it. Yea, of course, a few questions popped out from my mind that I do really wanted to ask my dad and mom for answers.

Daddy, Mummy....

1. What do you actually want to achieve in ur life? Have you achieve it till now at this stage of yours?
2. What is the most important things in your life at this stage?
3. What is your dream when you're young? Have your dream come true?
   
4. Is this the life you want? Is this your dream life?
5. What is the meaning of life to you?
6. How do you live your life?
   

There's too many of questions in my head that couldn't have excellent answers for them until I experience it myself. Well, yeah~ I'm too young to know all these stuffs. But I have to prepare to face it as I felt that time passed real fast recently. When you wake up early in the morning, once you blink your eye, the sky is getting dark and that's it, NIGHT TIME again and vice versa. I was wondering how's my life could be in the future? Does it good or worst? I started to worry all things around me. What am I going to do after graduate? Where am I going to be after that? Will I be success? Will I marry to a guy which I dream about all these while? Too much of uncertainty.

I know, if God let you know His plan, this wouldn't a life for you. God wants you to discover ur life. How adventurous it is!!!!

*******************************

At this young stage of mine, I just realized that I took money matter as the most important things for me. Everytime I raised up money issue to my parents, me and mom will turned up quarrelling. Yea, it's happens most of the time during last Raya holidays. Now, I realize, I understand that money will cause a lot of unhappy issue. That's what I don't really like about. As what I've see, heard about all those unhappy issues that happens around me all the time, I realize that I don't really appreciating the things I have in my own pair of hand all these while. I took everything for granted. My family, especially!

Dad and mom works so hard and try their very best to provide me everything that I want. Foods, shelter, clothes and everything. All these are branded some more. Besides, sisters, girlie and ah na, tries their best to fulfill what I want too.

1. I want a shoes, they bring me to Hush Puppies and pick on my favourite shoes.
   
2. I want a phone, they bought it and surprise me without my attention.
   
3. I want to eat cakes, my sis bought a whole cheesecake from Secret Recipe.
   
4. I want to watch movie, sisters just let me use her membership card to purchase the ticket without asking me to pay for it.
5. I want to go wherever I want. Mom lend me her car to drive around.
6. I knocked my dad's car accidentally, my dad never scold me. *just show his black face only* :P
7. I owe mom's money, my mom never ask to pay back even a single cent, but in return, she provides me pocket money every month.
   

What I need, they do really fulfill it without letting me down. What's more I want from them? Are those not enough for me? Can I stop all these? I should be thankful! I should appretiate it! I should CHANGE this kind of bad behavior!

Do I really be able to pay them back for all these in future time? Am I able to? I was wondering...Or I just rely on them again and again in future and become OKU only..I just so scare what am I to be in the next few years.

I should stop here now~
Spent lots of time to think what to write in this post..
Time just passed by like that~
Sometimes it just so meaningless to me!

Happy monday ^^

Another update ^_^

I'm lack of sleep recently due to burning too much midnight oil on the report. I was thought that I can have a good rest last night. Who knows, a friend came to me for help regarding to the report. So, I have tried my very best to help him out. There's too many problems in his report. The questionnaire was totally wrong and the data collected hardly to be counted out. Therefore, I help him in constructing a new set of questionnaire again. Luckily I have an average to good english *proud* and he has lots of idea even though some of the them are totally OUT.

Yup, I have morning class at 8 today and my head and eyes felt extremely heavy. Anyways, I went to class with a blur face and a pair of puffy eyes T_T Oh ya, I nearly fell down when I climb up the staircase. Luckily I was holding my baby's right hand. The symptom of overly tiredness due to a lotssssssssssss of things to do in study life. Well, it's gonna come to an end of this semester and I'm waiting for my lovely december holiday to come ^^

These few days, I ateeee alotssssssss. My bodyshape has changed. I AM EXTREMELY SAD AND DISAPPOINTED LAA...
Why i can't be like a certain people who can eat alot, but their bodyshape just still nice? Ahh~ different people, different fate!!!
Last few nights before I slept, I was think of so many delicious foods that I want to make on this coming holidays.
~Pizza
~Sushi
~Banana cake
~Chicken pie
~Mushroom soup with garlic bread
~Butter cake
~Honey chicken wings
~lotss more.. :P

Also, I did a plan in my mind about foods that i wanna eat as well..hohoho~
~Jellyfish
~Ice kacang
~Belacan Beehoon
~Steamboat
~Korean foods
~Korean ice cream
~Kueh Chap
~Tomato Kueh Teow
~Sarawak laksa
~Rojak
~Ham bun
~Char Kueh
~Mee sua with wanton
~and lots lots more *drooling*

Be ready to face the FAT of all the foods and also, you all will see the different YVONNE in the coming semester..Hohoho~


*End*

one PRAISE is enough to make up my DAY

I always say I wanna start updating my blog but I NEVER DID~
SO, NOW I DID ^^
Today, both my baby and I feel very happy because we did very well in our presentation of the REPORT and our lecturer quite impressed with us and not to forget her praises for us..GOOD JOB, Babes <3
Well, her PRAISES brighten up our DAY..wooohooo~~
Our efforts always been paid off well whenever 3 of us works together and it's a last minute workout I say here..
We squeeze our brain to the maximum level to come out with a new set of questionnaire,
We think out ideas that never come out in the early days,
We think of some vocabulary and built them into sentences,
We correcting each other grammars,
These are all we did in few nights time, whereas other groups might done their assignment in the past one month.
Although there is ups and downs during the process, but we did manage it very well..I felt very lucky and glad to have friends like them. We accepts every mistakes, every comments, every harsh words that comes out from our mouth and everything with an open heart. I know 3 of us will surely feel very uneasy about it, but we manage to overcome this behavior peacefully *winks*

This is what we called true ASSIGNMENTS partners, work together till the end with a big SMILE ^^

*End of the post*
Stay tune for the next update ^^

back to study now....

I'm gonna start to make my blog alive soon..I will write a blog whenever i'm feeling lonely, desperate, sad, happy, and the list goes on..

Gonna have quiz and mid term very soon...so stressed up due to the environment im in now...sigh~~

THE FIRST AND THE LAST!!!!!!

**This post is super LONG POST..If you're not in reading mode, please close this window immediately...



Since the orientation week has ended, i was busying about handling the pc fair. Even though, this programme is an easy task, just by calling up all the pc shops, camera shops, mobile shops etc to come in to our hostel and sell out their accessories and so on. But i was wondering, how come there is so many pc fair is going on in this university???

Actually, my programme is starting on 19th - 23rd July, 2009. But due to the paperwork haven't been approve at the dean office, this programme of mine have to be postponed till 24th July. Yes, it's my fault for not doing the paperwork earlier. But, i tell you guys that i have been worrying about the paperwork since the two months holidays. My paperwork is done but i haven't key in the sira form. I did asking "C" about it, but she didn't help at all. So, i just left it behind till the orientation week is ended.

The story just started at this point. C has been asking me to send the paperwork to the dean office immediately. At that time, i still haven't key in the sira. So, i'm seeking for help from the tomboy how to key in the sira and so on. Who knows, she just helping me half way. SHIT her!! FYI, she is the timbalan pengarah in this project. She have to help me out since i never run a programme in this hostel. That time, i just kept silent and seeking for other ppl's help. Finally, the sira is printed out and successfully sent to dean office. Who knows, my paperwork has been rejected and started to panic. So, i called Aisha for help immediately. She adviced me to postpone the date and i followed what she said. Then, i quickly change the date and correcting the mistakes in that paperwork. Then, sent to dean office again.

So, besides waiting for the approval, i asked for all the peniaga's contact numbers from C. And she just gave me 6 contact numbers. After a few days she gave me the numbers, i just started to contact them all..I know I do things in a very slow motion. So, i called up all the peniaga and asking them whether they interested to join this pc fair or not. All of them just say "when is it? how much is the rental fee?" And in the end, they just say "I'll consider about it." When i call them up again, they said they cant join this pc fair because they have another fair to go for which is same time as the pc fair of my hostel. So, I have no other choice and called up that tomboy saying that im having problem in searching peniaga. You know what she say? She asking me to find at the road side. Which road side she mean??????? So, i just telling her that im going down to alor setar to search for peniaga.

Because of this programme, i am so stressed up and wanted to cry out loud. That tomboy just so fucked up. You know what her job is? Her job is only lecturing me and doing small report to C. When im telling her that the programme need to be postponed, she started to lecturing me by saying "I already ask u to do the paperwork earlier. If you do it earlier, this kind of problem wouldnt be happened." What i can do is just to kept SILENT. And got one time, got one peniaga asking me so many questions that i don't even know how to answer. He asked me whether got any equipments like tables, chairs or plugs provided or not. Then i answered him saying that I'll comfirm with u later on. And then, i called C discussing about it. She says "You can borrow them at JPP. If you want to borrow, u need to prepare a formal letter". What the hell..Just like i know how to do formal letter...So, i called that peniaga again. Ended up pissing him off..haha~

I went to dean office to ask about the approval..Then the person in-charge told me that En Nawawi is on leave. That time i was so panic and ask Aisha what to do..Then Aisha said she cant make any decision and she ask me to ask C. So, i called C telling her what has happened. You know what she say? She only know how to say "I don't know. U go to ask Aisha" den im answering her "Aisha ask me to ask u wor.." I was like =.=""""" How come a PRESIDENT OF MUAMALAT DARE TO SAY THE WORD DONT KNOW?? SHE AS A PRESIDENT SHOULD KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DECISION FOR US WHAT!!! WHAT A SHAME!!! ASK HER TO RESIGN FROM THAT POST LA...SHE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE QUALIFICATION TO HOLD THAT POST..EVERYTHING DONT KNOW AND THE MTs ARE MUCH MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE THAN HER....

Two days before the D-day, i had a meeting with all the ajks. I selected my own ajks and don't even discussing it with that tomboy. After the meeting, tomboy and i had a small chat inside the jpm room...

Our conversation goes like this :

T : How's the programme going on?
Me: Erm..ok ok lo..Just that I'm having problem in searching the peniaga. Every peniaga i contacted say don't want to join our pc fair. And some of them still in consideration. Also, approval letter haven't come out yet so i had to postponed the date.
T: It's all because u had postponed the date. Of course they say don't want to join in la..(my fault again!!!!) Also, Triple C has helped you in finding peniaga to fill in the ruang legar..
Me: Because there is so many fair going on..thats why those peniaga (selling pc) dont want to come in..
T: I already ask u to do the paperwork earlier..if you do earlier, this problem wont be happened (repeating my fault again....)

Yala..yala..everything goes wrong is all because of me la..You din even come and help me, yet talk so much rubbish infront of me..Only know how to ambil hati of C..Always following her back only. C go eat shit, you also want to follow..I don't mind she do like that..I have no right to stop her, right? Just that, the way she threat me is too over.

On D-day, there is 10 stalls in ruang legar. Oh my gosh, i never expect that their business was so damn bad..Very less students are spending at that moment due to the late release of ptptn loan. All the business owners keep on complaining to me about their business..I cant do anything what....hmm~ On the next day, broadband and camera stall came in..they complaining also. On that day itself, I received a call from mr lim (pc stall owner) asking me to go to their shop at Changlun to pass the UUM road plan on how to go to Muamalat. So, i went there. And i was so unluckily to met tomboy while waiting for bus back to uum. Of course, i didnt greet her and so on. When almost 10pm, I went to Ah Nee's room asking her to accompany me to Dewan Mawar. At that time, Tomboy is there talking with Ah Nee. Then Tomboy talked to me...

T: I saw u at Changlun. What u doing there?
Me: I went to the pc shop to pass them the plan..Coz they dont know how to go to Muamalat
T: Ha? Why need to pass them the plan..they can call u up if they dunno how to go to muamalat on the next day ma...Just like my food carnival programme, those stall also the first come in to muamalat ma..They just call me up and i told them how to go and so on...
Me: *kept silent and let her bla..i really have no energy to talk back..*

Then i quickly drag ah nee go to dewan mawar and let her bla by herself there..haha~ I dont know how she feel but who cares right?? haha~ When we at Dewan Mawar, we (ah Nee, me & Tomboy) were talking to the broadband dealer..Know what, Tomboy was embarassing me infront of the broadband dealer. She say me big size and fat infront of them..Argh~!!! Then the broadband dealer was a bit shocked and ask why you tease her like that? And me, was hiding at the back of Ah Nee due to the embarassment...After closing down the dewan mawar, i was so angry and sms her by saying "next time, when u want to say something, please think of other ppl's feeling first. Dont just say what u like"..After saying this, my mood become better.

The third day of running the programme, i met up with C and she is lecturing me..

Our conversation:
C: You cant leave ur programme alone and GO TO CHANGLUN FOR SHOPPING, you know?? If let say there is a blackout suddenly, how leh???
Me: *abit shocked of what she saying* What? I didnt go shopping..I just go to the pc shop and pass them the plan on how to go to muamalat only...
C: You can call them up ma...Overall, u just cannot leave ur programme alone la..

SHIT that TOMBOY!!!! THAT TOMBOY IS SO FUCKED UP!!!! I never expect that she simply do small report by saying me go shopping at changlun. I was so pissed off that time...Argh~~ Even now, when i think of it, i really feel sooo angry..Due to the sms, she called me twice and i didnt answered..den i sms her whether there is anything important or not..den she ask me to see her awhile..den rejected by me..

On the third day itself, the uni was declaring one week holidays due to H1N1. I was calling up C how to settle the programme that still running..She only know how to say dont know and ask me to call Pengetua. Then i told her that i am following my friend to go back hometown..she was so furious when she heard about it...she says "if you want go to play, u can go other time..u cannot leave ur things behind..U haven't collect the rental fee. You know ka?" I just kept silent and i only say the work "OK". Then she called up again..she say "which stall haven't pay rental fee? i'll collect it..You want go to play, just go and play.." Then i said "Nvm..i almost reach Muamalat..I'll settle everything..." Shit her la..Argh~~~~

Ah Nee (my ex-officio) helping me to collect the rental fee together..Yes, she helped me out a lot in this programme..And Aisha as well..In this very rush time, where is my ajks and timbalan?? ALL ARE BUSY PACKING BAG AND GO HOME!!!! LEAVING ME SETTLING DOWN ALL THE THINGS IN DEWAN MAWAR..THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT IT AT ALL ESPECIALLY TOMBOY.


Since i holding this small post, i really been threaten like a BARBIE DOLL. Every big events going on, I'm sure become a barbie doll holding the ajk post without any specific task to do..It is such a waste of my precious time...argh!! I rather spend that precious time of mine with my roommates..

I end my post here..will continue again soon. It's 12am now..wanna go back to room now..

Short update,,,

Finally i clicked "NEW POST". I always wanted to updating my dead blog but ended reading other ppl's blogs rather than posting up all the nonsense things in this useless blog of mine..

I really feel so stressed up for the past few weeks. Nothing going smoothly since the new semester has started. What's kept me thinking is all about the DAMN STUPID PC FAIR. I hate it sooooo much..But now, it's all over thanks to H1N1 disease..Because of this, the university has declared one week holiday. All the classes and activities has been cancelled.

The holiday is almost comes to the end now. Actually, I planned to go back Kch few days ago. Everyone is making me worry and asking me to leave the uni immediately. DUH~~ At first, i listen to them and went to the airport. I almost buy the ticket that cost me rm 600 for one way. DAMN IT. Luckily i didnt buy it..Even though I'm so "RICH", doesnt mean that i need to spend the money on that ridiculous cost of tickets. Then, i took taxi back to uni again. Rm100 wasted!! Heart pain betul......

I had instant noodles almost everyday and now for this whole week. And now, when i think of instant noodles, i feel like puke-ing..I WANNA EAT RICE LA~ If i have instant noodles for my meal continually, i'll be bald in no time..Can i have a proper meal by now onward? Mummy, cook for me, please......

Roommates are coming back soon. My baby will reach here by 6 or 7pm tomoro, i guess? Miss her so much now..The whole hostel will be so noisy as usual starting tomoro onwards.

Next update will be posting about my hatred towards someone...I'M TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD THAT I NEVER HATE A PERSON TO THE MAX.